it’s really weird for me to think that we can never go back. that this isn’t just a phase and then you get to go back to the way things were. those times are done and as much as we miss them, we can’t revisit them.
frankly, that sucks.
i can’t let it get to me. i can’t go back to that. get ahold of yourself. what is it that you’re really so worked up about? why do you let this feeling rule you? why has worry became such a huge anchor in your life? why do you get that feeling in your gut? step back. think of all you have. think of who you used to be. who you are. who is this person you’re becoming? do you like that person? then change it. remember who you are. take hold of that. sure, things are changing like crazy but some things are getting back to the way they were; why don’t you do likewise? you may not love everything going on, but you’ll love their benefits. you used to be so excited for the future. you had all of these huge plans for great things. now all you want to do is buy the time. you’re waiting for something to change but are doing nothing about it. typical. it’s getting close to that time. why don’t you make some things happen? try being yourself again. you’re bigger than this. the universe is bigger than this. god is bigger than this. everything is bigger than this yet you let it paralyze you. what the heck are you doing? you’re not this unstable person. just because you get that feeling, you don’t have to break like you have. you’ve got to get past that. you can’t spend your whole life breaking at the slightest inconvenience or discomfort. because frankly, i’m over it.
an update that requires me to restart my computer is an update that is never getting installed.